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Old 07-13-2009, 05:35 PM   #1
BillyJeanKing
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BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.BillyJeanKing says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
Default Phrases Found on Resumes

Actual phrases found on resumes...

"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved.
No commitments."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Marital status: often. Children: various."

"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."

"Finished eighth in my class of ten."

"References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:24 AM   #2
theholycow
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theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KOURKE View Post
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
"It's best for employers that I not work with people."
"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Marital status: often. Children: various."
"Finished eighth in my class of ten."
"References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
I'm currently reviewing resumes for an open position in my department, and I would want to bring in these straight shooters for immediate interviews. Seriously. I'm seeing dozens of nearly identical resumes with all good and no bad.

Quote:
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
I said almost exactly that at the interview for my current job. They wanted to know something bad about me, so I told them. I got the job.

Quote:
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
I would also want to meet with those two - sense of humor, thinking outside the box, and willing to take a risk.
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:26 AM   #3
Cez★
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Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.Cez★ says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
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lmao. maybe I should try these when I go for an interview
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