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07-13-2009, 05:35 PM | #1 |
Sneakers O'Toole
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Phrases Found on Resumes
Actual phrases found on resumes...
"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms." "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." "It's best for employers that I not work with people." "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience." "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments." "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail." "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant." "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." "Marital status: often. Children: various." "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers." "Finished eighth in my class of ten." "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me." |
07-14-2009, 01:24 AM | #2 | |||
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Greener pastures
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07-14-2009, 03:26 AM | #3 |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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lmao. maybe I should try these when I go for an interview
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