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-   -   Funny... Found on Craigslist (http://www.allofftopic.com/showthread.php?t=382)

theholycow 08-12-2009 10:47 PM

Found on Craigslist
 
http://omaha.craigslist.org/cto/1319838803.html

A Mistubishi Gault, you say?

Quote:

MITSUBISHI GAULT (FREMONT )
Date: 2009-08-12, 3:16PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

1995 MITSUBISHI GALANT NEEDS NEW HEAD BUT LOTZ OF EXTRA VERY FAST 2.4 5 SPEED HEADER WITH A CHIP APEXI EXHAUST 17IN RIMS FOG LIGHTS AND RACING WING 402-727-4292 (SEAN) THANKS FOR LOOKING

Location: FREMONT
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://images.craigslist.org/3nc3od3...30d581144d.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3nd3pf3...c4d3ef1845.jpg

PostingID: 1319838803

Cez★ 08-13-2009 03:37 AM

lol
you really will need that wing to get traction at 200 mph

Shaggy 08-13-2009 08:52 AM

Why oh why :nono:

theholycow 10-25-2009 01:19 PM

Stupid/weird/funny craigslist/eBay/etc
 
Post 'em up...

http://newlondon.craigslist.org/bar/1432565857.html
Quote:

dominoes uniform and hot bag - $10 (killingly)
Date: 2009-10-22, 10:10AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

have 2 shirts and 2 bags. would make great halloween costumes.
asking $10 each set or trade for something interesting.
maybe a nintendo ds or xbox 360 game. anything really. i have no use for these anymore

call tim @ 860 428 7380

Location: killingly
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1432565857
Seriously? Someone's going to go to a halloween party dressed as the Domino's delivery guy?

No. What's really going to happen is some rapist/murderer is going to buy that...

BillyJeanKing 10-25-2009 01:27 PM

What's really going to happen is everyone at the party is going to be pissed when they realize there's no pizza.

:rofl:

Biggs 10-25-2009 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KOURKE (Post 15478)
What's really going to happen is everyone at the party is going to be pissed when they realize there's no pizza.

:rofl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by theholycow (Post 15477)
No. What's really going to happen is some rapist/murderer is going to buy that...

If there was no pizza in the bag, THAT's when the murder/rape/all of the above will take place.

BillyJeanKing 10-25-2009 02:39 PM

Quote:

I will trade you records if you hang out with me and you are female

tell me about who you are send pic

hang out with me nice guy white male

in astoria
i will give you 10 lps for an hour and 1/2 of hanging out
i will give you 15 lps for a massage no guys just female only
rock lps mostly dont ask for list come here and look through it you wont get any free ones for looking through them only for hanging out
...........

---------- Post added at 09:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 AM ----------

http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...ke/blocks1.png

theholycow 10-25-2009 02:44 PM

:lol:

theholycow 11-18-2009 01:09 AM

Holy crap, Lois!
 
http://providence.craigslist.org/bar/1470728573.html
Quote:

I need a Caregiver~Medical Marijuana Act, R.I. Gen. Laws §1-21-28.6 - $2 (Rhode Island)

Date: 2009-11-17, 6:45PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am getting my medical card soon. I have a vehicle to trade for medicine. 1997 M3 BMW Bl W/New Leather/ Power Everything/ Ice Cold A/C/ 19 Inch Low Pros/ 4 Doors/ New Alpine System
You Name it....Sweet car, paid almost 14,000 and have put close to 6,000 into it. Had 63,000 mi when I bought it and now has 72,000. Spoke to a couple people recently about this option and they seemed interested but no call back today, hmmmm? I am only interested in legal limits allowed under the law for MMPatients. That means that you would need to make payments over a period of time. I want to base it on straight Meds and NO money out of my pocket. 4-6 Lbs range over 2 years. I can modify the form pasted below to reflect our arrangement.
An anonymous smoker....
Motor Vehicle Bill of Sale
Seller 1: __________________________________________________
Address: __________________________________________________
Seller 2: __________________________________________________
Address: __________________________________________________
Buyer 1: __________________________________________________
Address: __________________________________________________
Buyer 2: __________________________________________________
Address: __________________________________________________
If there is more than one buyer or seller, the use of the singular incorporates the plural.
1. Seller hereby sells the vehicle described here to Buyer: _________________________
Its body type is: __________________________________________________ .
It carries the following vehicle identification number (VIN): _________________________.
Vehicle includes the following personal property items: _________________________
2. The full purchase price for Vehicle is $ _______________. In exchange for Vehicle, Buyer has paid Seller [choose one]:
[ ] the full purchase price.
[ ] $ ___________________ as a down payment, balance due in _____ days.
[ ] $ ___________________ as a down payment and has executed a promissory note for the balance of the purchase price.
3. Seller warrants that Seller is the legal owner of Vehicle and that Vehicle is free of all legal claims (liens or encumbrances) by others except: _________________________.
Seller agrees to remove any lien or encumbrance specified in this clause with the proceeds of this sale within _____ days of the date of the bill of sale.
4. Vehicle [ ] has been [ ] has not been inspected by an independent mechanic at Buyer's request. If an inspection has been made, the inspection report [ ] is attached [ ] is not attached to and made part of this bill of sale.
5. Seller believes Vehicle to be in good condition except for the following defects: __________________________________________________ .
6. Other than the warranty of ownership in Clause 3 and the representations in Clause 5, Seller makes no express warranties. Buyer takes Vehicle as is. Seller hereby disclaims the implied warranty of merchantability and all other implied warranties which may apply to the extent disclaimers are permitted in the state having jurisdiction over this bill of sale.
7. The odometer reading for Vehicle is: _________________________.
8. Additional terms of sale for Vehicle are as follows: __________________________.
Seller 1’s signature: _______________________________ Date:___________________
Seller 2’s signature: _______________________________ Date:___________________
Buyer 1’s signature: _______________________________ Date:___________________
Buyer 2’s signature: _______________________________ Date:___________________





* Location: Rhode Island - USA
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 1435041584-0 image 1435041584-1
image 1435041584-2 image 1435041584-3

Location: Rhode Island
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://images.craigslist.org/3p93o73...2d783a143f.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3m53p63...b17d98197a.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/3nb3k33...3826b81751.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3ne3k93...cb9deb1153.jpg

theholycow 11-21-2009 12:32 PM

Cliff's notes:

300,000 miles.
A/C broken.
Power steering leak.
"Body is not in perfect condition"
Fog lights broken.
Odometer broken.
Price: More than KBB retail price in "excellent" condition. $6500.

He mentions that it's on it's second engine and transmission. I'm going to guess that they were put in at 150,000-170,000 miles. That's the mileage when a 1995 Volvo 850's engine and transmission would usually fail; look for them on Craigslist, you'll find plenty for sale with failed engine or transmission at that mileage. Therefore, it's been 130,000-150,000 miles since he put in the replacement engine and transmission and he knows it's a ticking time bomb.

Particularly jesty: "The buyer of this car will have a $45,000 vehicle for a whole lot less money." Right, that's a $45,000 car...

http://worcester.craigslist.org/cto/1474918314.html
Quote:

1995 Volvo T5-R 850 Black For Sale (Berlin)
Date: 2009-11-20, 2:22PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

For Sale 1995 Volvo T5-R 850 with 300,000+ miles.

I have owned this car since 1996 when it had 29,000 miles on it. It is a fabulous car for both and local and cross country use. It has been well maintained by a very skilled mechanic. I just think it's time for a new car. It is not a car that gives headaches. The buyer of this car will have a $45,000 vehicle for a whole lot less money. I am seeking a high price, because for it's age and mileage, it is a cream puff. I'd like to get as close to $6500 as possible; make a reasonable offer.

Kelly Blue Book -Retail $6,375 (excellent condition)
-Private $3,900-$4,900
-Trade-in $2,500-$3,400

-The car is fully loaded with every option available (power/heated everything, leather, etc).
-On it's second engine and second transmission.
-Two sets of snow tires on 15" steel rims.
-Set of summer tires on 16" alloy rims.
-Set of hubcaps.
-Thule roof rack (box is optional for $300).
-All records for the car itself.
-The oil is changed every 2,500 miles by a Volvo Certified Tech. The car performs great and does not burn oil.
-The transmission works very well

Note:
-A/C is inop.
-Very minor power steering box leak.(one pint every 6 months)
-The body is not in perfect condition.
-Fog Lights inop.
-The odometer has locked up (though the electronic one works fine).

Please send an email if you need more pictures or more information.

Thanks.


Location: Berlin
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
http://images.craigslist.org/3k83p63...57fbb219e4.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3ob3p13...dabd3b1156.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/3na3o63...e513c210df.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3m93pa3...b400471139.jpg

theholycow 11-24-2009 05:06 PM

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/1477236376.html
Can someone translate this unintelligible crap to english?

Quote:

Galant - $800 (Lincoln)
Date: 2009-11-22, 9:37AM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

mitshubishi galant 800 or best offer for sale new rec n pinion needs an alignment thats it tinted windows grey blue ish color leather interior rip in driver side seat very nice car i just share a carwith myu girl so its cheaper needs to go so i dont have to keep paying insurance email my girlfriend at [email protected]

stonehenge 11-24-2009 05:20 PM

I get laughs from the little things:
Quote:

2000 Ford : F-150 HARLEY DAVIDSON EDITION - $3450 (tucson)
Date: 2009-11-24, 8:27AM MST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

This is a fast seller,please contact me asap so you can get in the possesion of this beauty.You certanly love it

contact me asap
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I LOVE ASSHOLE :pissedfist:

theholycow 11-24-2009 05:25 PM

He must be a fag.

http://hellforleathermagazine.com/ga...ark_Fags_1.jpg

stonehenge 11-24-2009 05:51 PM

Quote:

1980 chevy step side custom deluxe with a rebult 350 with all new edelbrock parts and all new a/c with the r134a, rebuilt tranny with a 2500 stall conv, and a 2 stage shit kit, daul exhaust with headers and cherry bombs,ps,pb,cold a/c runs good and looks good asking $4000 o.b.o call 272-8089
niiiice

---------- Post added at 09:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 AM ----------

Quote:

Craftsman 10" table saw for sale. Great shape, lightly used to make pinewood derby cars a couple of times and thats about it. All attachments it came with. $75.00 or best offer takes this sexy bitch!!!
:jester:

theholycow 11-28-2009 04:46 PM

http://providence.craigslist.org/bar/1485102459.html
Quote:

my car for ur - $2000
Date: 2009-11-28, 10:02AM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

will to barter my car my a bike or sum 2000$ it is a 300m jast gat a jeep do not need a car no more al so have a handa call or tex me 401649 9950
:lolwut:

theholycow 11-29-2009 02:27 PM

Found these three postings all in a row, all within an hour of eachother.

1996 ford winstar - $500 (roxury, mass)
1998 Ford Windstar - $350 (Duxbury
1999 DodgeWindstar - $500 (Randolph)

Really? Dodge Windstar?

The first one is lulzy to see the photos that are attached:
http://images.craigslist.org/3n03m73...2f5aa6179e.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3nb3ma3...fdd05b1754.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/3n43m63...f61d391940.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3kc3p73...89941c1c87.jpg

Really? Post four nearly identical surveillance photos that show almost nothing about the vehicle?

theholycow 12-05-2009 03:05 AM

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/1495118565.html
Quote:

BLACK 1993 ES 300 LEXUS EVERYTHING ELECTIC, SUNROOF, LEATHER SEAT IN GOOD CONDITION RUNS AND JUST RECENTLY GOT INSPECTED UNTIL 2011 BUT LIGHT BULB BLEW IN THE OMETER LAST READING BEFORE LIGHT BLEW WAS 158,00 MILES SO MILES IS AROUND 160,00 AND THE ALTERNATER IS GOING, BUT CAR DOES RUN. JUST PUT IN NEW CADILLAC CONVERTER FOR MORE INFORMATION OR IF YOU WANT TO COME AND SEE IT CALL MARC AT 401-623-9971 THANK YOU

CAR IS STILL FOR SALE
:rofljest:

stonehenge 12-05-2009 04:24 PM

the most comfy converter evar

theholycow 12-09-2009 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theholycow (Post 23383)
Cliff's notes:

300,000 miles.
A/C broken.
Power steering leak.
"Body is not in perfect condition"
Fog lights broken.
Odometer broken.
Price: More than KBB retail price in "excellent" condition. $6500.

He mentions that it's on it's second engine and transmission. I'm going to guess that they were put in at 150,000-170,000 miles. That's the mileage when a 1995 Volvo 850's engine and transmission would usually fail; look for them on Craigslist, you'll find plenty for sale with failed engine or transmission at that mileage. Therefore, it's been 130,000-150,000 miles since he put in the replacement engine and transmission and he knows it's a ticking time bomb.

Particularly jesty: "The buyer of this car will have a $45,000 vehicle for a whole lot less money." Right, that's a $45,000 car...

http://worcester.craigslist.org/cto/1474918314.html

He reposts it every day.

He says this:
It is not a car that gives headaches.
yet he says
-On it's second engine and second transmission.
-A/C is inop.
-Very minor power steering box leak.(one pint every 6 months)
-The body is not in perfect condition.
-Fog Lights inop.
-The odometer has locked up (though the electronic one works fine).

Right...

What a salesman. Maybe I should hire him to sell my VW out of its lease, I could turn a profit.

theholycow 12-17-2009 02:25 AM

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/1512276808.html
Quote:

Saturn L200 - $500 (Providence)
Date: 2009-12-15, 11:59PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Saturn L200 - Great car for parts or salvage! The body and interior are in good shape, but I don't know the mileage. It's approximately a 2001.

There are a couple issues:
- No title
- No keys
- Needs to be towed

Email for more details.

Location: Providence
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1512276808

2005_Silverado 12-17-2009 05:14 AM

forgot to mention its stolen!

stonehenge 12-17-2009 03:19 PM

Quote:

barby casas - $300 (B-Mont wey)
Date: 2009-12-17, 11:59PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Orale, I haz these houses for your plastic chicas wey. I "bought" them at Toys-R-Us pero I don't have any receipts or TRU bags or anything so I can't return them. Buy these things off me, I don't even have any kids.

NOT STOLEN :secret:

Email for more details.

Location: .gov Cali
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 151227680
:think:

theholycow 12-17-2009 03:23 PM

:roflsquared:

Cez★ 12-17-2009 04:07 PM

:lol:

stonehenge 12-17-2009 05:54 PM

Just realized that the title of this thread is "STUPID cl/ebay/etc", didn't mean that your idea was stupid eddeh :( in fact its quite a good idea lol


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