Rant: Sensationalist news

**theholycow** · 10-31-2009, 03:53 PM

I'm watching ABC local news this morning, and here's what I've learned:

1. Swine flu is OMG TEH END OF TEH WOLRD!@#@$%!!!!11!!11!!oneone!!!!

Kids should wear surgical masks while trick-or-treating and going to halloween parties. Trick-or-treaters should not be allowed to take candy by hand; instead you should drop the candy in their bag/bucket. Then, when your kids get home with their candy, don't let them eat it. Instead, let it sit for a few hours for germs on the wrappers to die; then have them unwrap what they're going to eat, throw away the wrappers, and wash their hands before eating it. Oh, and you're supposed to take out the trash as soon as the wrappers are in it.

You gotta be fucking kidding me!

2. Children are picking blueberries on family farms! OH NOES CHILD LABOR! EVIL PARENTS SHOULD BE KILLED!

They did a segment on a family farm where kids help pick blueberries. They had footage of a small child carrying two one-gallon pails of berries, and an interview with a kid who was talking about pesticides sprayed on the blueberries. They compared it to sweatshops and shit like that.

God forbid these kids get away from video games and do something useful like learning a good work ethic. I bet they told the family they'd do a nice segment on family farms, how hard it is for family farms to get by, how good it is that they provide locally grown food to local families, etc...and now the family is going to be scorned by people who paid attention when the news said the family's name.

Cez★ · 10-31-2009, 05:36 PM

thats what teh world is coming too. sad

Ewok · 10-31-2009, 07:20 PM

when there is no news blow something out of proportion that will make people watch.

10-31-2009, 03:53 PM	#1
theholycow Bovinus Administratus Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Greener pastures Posts: 32,377	Sensationalist news I'm watching ABC local news this morning, and here's what I've learned: 1. Swine flu is OMG TEH END OF TEH WOLRD!@#@$%!!!!11!!11!!oneone!!!! Kids should wear surgical masks while trick-or-treating and going to halloween parties. Trick-or-treaters should not be allowed to take candy by hand; instead you should drop the candy in their bag/bucket. Then, when your kids get home with their candy, don't let them eat it. Instead, let it sit for a few hours for germs on the wrappers to die; then have them unwrap what they're going to eat, throw away the wrappers, and wash their hands before eating it. Oh, and you're supposed to take out the trash as soon as the wrappers are in it. You gotta be fucking kidding me! 2. Children are picking blueberries on family farms! OH NOES CHILD LABOR! EVIL PARENTS SHOULD BE KILLED! They did a segment on a family farm where kids help pick blueberries. They had footage of a small child carrying two one-gallon pails of berries, and an interview with a kid who was talking about pesticides sprayed on the blueberries. They compared it to sweatshops and shit like that. God forbid these kids get away from video games and do something useful like learning a good work ethic. I bet they told the family they'd do a nice segment on family farms, how hard it is for family farms to get by, how good it is that they provide locally grown food to local families, etc...and now the family is going to be scorned by people who paid attention when the news said the family's name. __________________

10-31-2009, 07:20 PM	#3
Ewok denouncer of lost souls Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: swingerville, USA Posts: 8,776	when there is no news blow something out of proportion that will make people watch.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)