LOL pics? :bishplz: LOL text...

[Cez★]

skyrim lolz hahaha

[theholycow]

http://notalwaysright.com/murrays-law/22083
Murray’s Law
Department Store | Sydney, Australia | At The Checkout

(I work at a complaints and returns desk. We generally get a few unreasonable and abusive customers each day, so we’ve developed a very effective tactic for dealing with them.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “You guys are idiots!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Look at this receipt! Look at it!”

(He holds up a receipt for a purchase; it looks normal enough.)

Me: “Is there a problem with it?”

Customer: “God, you’re so dumb! Look how faint the ink is! I can barely read it! You want me to go blind?!”

Me: “Ah, well, it looks like the printer’s ink was running a little low, and it can look faded because of that. Would you like me to reprint it so you can read it?”

Customer: “NO! Then you’ll just get away with it! Stupid idiots!”

(The customer starts getting worked up and begins a rant full of swear words and physical threats. I realise what the situation calls for.)

Me: “I am terribly, terribly sorry sir. That looks like Murray did it. What an idiot!”

(This stops the customer’s rant in his tracks and looks at me, breathless.)

Customer: “…Murray?”

Me: “Yes, Murray! He’s always causing problems for customers like you. It’s really unfair. I’ll deal with it right now.” *calling out* “Murray? Come here!”

(As per protocol, the nearest male coworker who isn’t busy comes over to play the role of Murray.)

Male Coworker: “Yes?”

Me: “How dare you upset this customer! You’re fired! Get out!”

Male Coworker: *acts dejected* “I’m so sorry…”

(“Murray” shuffles off looking like he’s about to cry, and once out of sight gets right back to work.)

Me: “There we are, sir. You don’t have to worry about that sort of thing happening ever again. The customer always comes first, and we take complaints very seriously. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Wow, you guys are really great! Thanks, and good riddance to that idiot Murray!” *leaves*

(This isn’t simply to avoid confrontation; our manager estimates that using the “Murray” tactic to placate customers like this saves us nearly an hour of verbal abuse each day, so we have more time to actually help the customers who need it.)

[Dubyagee]

Poor Murray.

[theholycow]

http://notalwaysworking.com/it-was-a...-pooping/25847

(Doctor | USA)

(I’ve just had general check up at the doctor’s office. I receive a bill and find some charges for procedures I haven’t had done. So, I call their billing department.)

Me: “Hi, there is a charge for procedure [number] that I don’t recognize.”

Employee: “Yes, that was for stool culture.”

Me: “I didn’t have such an analysis.”

Employee: “But it says that you have.”

Me: “I definitely haven’t… uh… brought you any specimens.”

Employee: “Oh, that was just a smear.”

Me: “I’m sure I didn’t have such tests done.”

Employee: “Oh, they do it so quick you probably didn’t even notice!”

Me: *speechless*

[stonehenge]

Wait did I just feel... nah just my imagination.

Dr:

[stonehenge]

[stonehenge]

"I think it may be worse than bad, I think it's probably terminal"

So I work as the main Tech for a largish media firm. 200 or so users, all on Macs, spread over 5 offices (London, NY, Tokyo, Shanghai and Singapore). Over the last year we've moved from a hodgepodge of XServes and NAS systems to a Windows Server / Exchange setup, with all our Macs bound to the domain using a piece of software called Centrify. It's not the simplest of things to install, but I'd trust any of you, Mac experience or not, to be able to handle it.

Now I work in the London office, but I've had to come out to Shanghai to get them set up on their shiny new server, promote it as a DC, all that good stuff. I'm also here to train the local support company (an outsourced tech shop) how to handle domain binding on a Mac, and the encryption etc we'll be using.

So, since they're supposed to be providing first and second level support for 20 Mac users, you would think they've used a Mac before. None of them have. Not even idly passing through an Apple store. So far the list of technologies / things they've never come across stands at:

Bonjour
Terminal
Disk utility
Directory utility
The command key
Home folders (as in, the concept of the home folder containing all user data)
Firewire
Time Machine
HFS+ / why we don't use NTFS
The ambient light sensor
Why you might use a root account
Unix style directory listings
Why we don't have a Registry
Why we might have an Antivirus installed (SarbOx. This one isn't even an apple thing, it's just IT)
That Microsoft Office was available for Macs (we use Outlook exclusively)

Oh, and one of them just connected a USB drive and Sophos immediately flagged it as containing 2 trojans and a worm in the folder for an Acrobat keygen. That's 4 pretty massive no-nos for us.

I just emailed my boss saying "I'd trust my Mum more than I trust these guys, it's pretty bad". The title is his response.

tl;dr: i just travelled 4000 miles to explain which way up a firewire cable plugs in

[theholycow]

[Cez★]

get it i dont

[Keeler]

Mother fucking word.

Sent from my teepee

[lowerc]

why do they speak french in shanghai? :bonjour:

oh and :dattimemachine:

[Cez★]

http://squishyeeyore.tumblr.com/post...ion-done-right

[stonehenge]

foo got told

[Barrrf]

Originally Posted by lowerc

why do they speak french in shanghai? :bonjour:

oh and :dattimemachine:

Anyone know where I can buy posters of this pictar? Or of the one posted below?

[stonehenge]

no but here's a higher res version of the second one:



Not sure if it's high res enough to print as a poster tho :/

---------- Post added at 08:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:38 AM ----------

kinda bamf:



just print these three and put them side-by-side:



They're bamf high-res.

or this one:

[shootermcgavin003]

50S bttf dmc has pepsi crate on the hood

bttf 1 and 2 he drank pepsi too bttf is great

[Cez★]

this is lol text not BTTF pix thread douchers

[lowerc]

Successfully derailed lol words thread

[Cez★]

hows about i derail your face

[stonehenge]

[lowerc]

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number
Call Center | Chatsworth, CA, USA | Top

(Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much for my daughter?”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”

Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”

Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”

Me: “Adult websites.”

Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”

[Cez★]

Also,

[stonehenge]

[stonehenge]

I work in I.T. at a hospital and we have a team of "analysts" that support the various specific computer applications the hospital uses. While I don't know their specific job titles, we usually just refer to them as "the I.T. analysts" and ourselves as "field support."

Today my boss shows us an e-mail he just received from an analyst that had provided a screenshot for specific settings for a program that needed to be set for the users. Immediately we all notice something wrong with the screenshot. First it was in black in white, second it was fading out in the upper-right corner. It turns out that instead of using Prt Scr, this "IT Analyst" flipped her laptop all the way open, set that bad boy down on one of the Ricoh copier/scanners and set it up to scan to pdf and e-mail it to herself so she could forward it to the rest of IT. /facepalm

TL;DR - IT Application Specialist takes "print screen" a little too literally.

[theholycow]