im back bitches

[TATERNATER]

[theholycow]

[Cez★]

[nekkidhillbilly]

so im majorly depressed. I really miss the ex terrible. I shouldn't she did me horrible and I have this great new g/f that treats me like gold. it just started hitting me all of a sudden.

[Cez★]

awww


depression aint no joke.

talk it out with someone you feeel confortable with, in my terrible opinion


cao needs to come up in here asap

[nekkidhillbilly]

yeah I know and I have been but its not helping. rick is very wise. I thought about seeing a pro but I don't want to run new g/f off in process cause of ex wife feelings.

---------- Post added at 07:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:35 PM ----------

ex halfway wants to try again but I don't want the pain again of her doing me shitty.

[Cez★]

women come and go. your mental state can really fuck you up man. have you told gf?

[nekkidhillbilly]

no I haven't. I don't want to run her off like I said. I really got hard feelings for her maybe love her too.

[Cez★]

you might have to m8

---------- Post added at 03:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:34 PM ----------

or try and handle it on your own

wouldnt suggest tho

[nekkidhillbilly]

i need to do something i know. doing a bang up job on my own.

[stonehenge]

If you'd just broken up and yelled at each other or some shit, that's one thing. But she fucked you over. dnw

Release them feels on the AOT brethren (nohomo) and put your energy into your gf. imo

[nekkidhillbilly]

yeah I know but its 16 years and id give anything to change it

---------- Post added at 12:36 AM ---------- Previous post was Yesterday at 11:04 PM ----------

also have a drinking problem I think

[stonehenge]

I get that (the 16yrs thing). Been with my wife for about 15 years (married for about 8). Shit would go upside down if something like that happened. I don't imagine it's be easy to just "FBGM" like nothing ever happened.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320A

[nekkidhillbilly]

its not and she started emailing me saying she wished she could say things to me but she cant hurt my g/f or her new b/f after all she did to us and the coworkers.

[stonehenge]

Well she should have thought about that before she fucked everything up.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320A

[Cez★]

yeah, fuck that. its not helping that she's still playing this "sorta love you still" shit imo.




similar thing happening with my good buddy of mine n jojos.

been with his girl for like 10+ years. about to get married after she graduated. called it off like a week before. she moved out and he hit a slump.

was out boozing hardcore for a bit. jojo had to step in and do chores n shit for him while he helped him get up and out with the ladies.


but nhb, it might help talking to current gf about your feelings, she might understand. but you might need some time to sort those feelings out


cao come up in here and correct me pls


spread your wisdom

[TATERNATER]

Do Ng that can make her insecure. If u go that route, because some chicks do get off on honesty, just be sure to let ur new gf know first that SHE is ur top priority.

[nekkidhillbilly]

she is my top priority

---------- Post added at 01:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:25 PM ----------

Originally Posted by stonehenge

Well she should have thought about that before she fucked everything up.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320A

I agree but she is immature and has crazy depression issues.

[theholycow]

Originally Posted by nekkidhillbilly

I thought about seeing a pro but I don't want to run new g/f off in process cause of ex wife feelings.

Why would seeing a pro run off the new gf?

You need to be whole in order to be part of a healthy relationship with her.

ex halfway wants to try again but I don't want the pain again of her doing me shitty.

bishplz

You're doing it right. Don't forget how awful it was. I'm not going to lie and say people can't change, but you haven't said anything that makes me think she ever has a chance of changing at all, let alone changing in a sustainable way.

Originally Posted by stonehenge

I don't imagine it's be easy to just "FBGM" like nothing ever happened.

It's not, but once you go over the edge with it, it snaps inside and it's easy to stick with it strongly...it provides its own strength.

Originally Posted by nekkidhillbilly

its not and she started emailing me saying she wished she could say things to me but she cant hurt my g/f or her new b/f after all she did to us and the coworkers.

Oh jeebus, that's the worst. She can't decide what she wants to do; she just wants to keep one foot in each life and have it all. She couldn't honor her commitment before, now she can't even commit. As long as she thinks there's a even a slight chance she can have it all she will continue trying to have it all.

Cut off all contact with her as much as you can (some is probably necessary for post-divorce shit I guess); it hurts but it won't hurt as much as staying in contact. Voluntary interaction with her feeds her have it all delusion. Don't respond, and also, don't even read emails/IMs/etc or answer calls, whenever possible.

So, how bad is the drinking? Drunk/heavy buzz every night? Mean/violent? Doing anything wrong? I know the establishment tells us that retreating into inebriation is always bad but IMO a measured amount of it can be good to give your mind and heart a break and help you get some sleep...as long as you remain strong enough to control it. Moderation is not optional.

[TATERNATER]

Originally Posted by nekkidhillbilly

she is my top priority

---------- Post added at 01:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:25 PM ----------



I agree but she is immature and has crazy depression issues.

I don't doubt it, the way ur talking, im saying make sure she knows that without a doubt.

[nekkidhillbilly]

I drink almost every night

---------- Post added at 02:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:36 PM ----------

part of me wants to go back too

[theholycow]

How much do you drink every night?

Of course part of you wants to go back. That's normal. You will make strategic decisions to avoid it, and to avoid things that might tempt you more, and to avoid things that might lead to those things, etc, because you know better.

[nekkidhillbilly]

enough lets say 24 oz of bourbon or rum....and no I do things that make it worse. I deep down want to go back i think however i want to be with shaina too.

[stonehenge]

After that much time with her, of course there's lingering feels that make you want to go back to how it was. But how it was is not how it is. She did bad shit and treated you like shit. Gotta get past that, especially when even now she isn't saying "I'm done with him, I want you back". She's just saying "idk, kinda want both" so even after all the shit, she isn't 100% back on you. Fuck that. Time to move on imo and you've already found someone you like and who likes you, make that work!

Idk how to help with the drinking, I've luckily never been stuck in that rut but I hope you get past it. It's not good for your head, your body, your wallet, or your relationships if you drink too much.

[theholycow]

Originally Posted by nekkidhillbilly

enough lets say 24 oz of bourbon or rum....

Oh. Yeah, that's really bad.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=39-natKpnkA

Video page
Full screen

[quote]and no I do things that make it worse. I deep down want to go back i think however i want to be with shaina too.[quote]

"You will" wasn't a prediction, it was a command. You must make those strategic decisions many steps ahead, avoiding temptation, things that lead to temptation, things that lead to those things...and when avoidance isn't possible you must sabotage your future self against making the wrong decisions, so the wrong ones won't work.

Originally Posted by stonehenge

After that much time with her, of course there's lingering feels that make you want to go back to how it was. But how it was is not how it is. She did bad shit and treated you like shit. Gotta get past that, especially when even now she isn't saying "I'm done with him, I want you back". She's just saying "idk, kinda want both" so even after all the shit, she isn't 100% back on you. Fuck that. Time to move on imo and you've already found someone you like and who likes you, make that work!

Idk how to help with the drinking, I've luckily never been stuck in that rut but I hope you get past it. It's not good for your head, your body, your wallet, or your relationships if you drink too much.

Keep your mind, your heart, and your body occupied with other people and things. Be too busy to be depressed, but more importantly, be too busy to make the wrong choices. Make sure all the people around you elsewhere (IRL, other forums, etc) are on board the way we are so that you can stand firm with help even when you don't feel like you can do it alone. It's a team effort.