LOL pics? :bishplz: LOL text...

[stonehenge]

Roflword, will move the pics to other thread later if I remember. On my phone now.

[stonehenge]

Little context, I work for a school district

We got a ticket in earlier yesterday and the first sentence is "Ms. Derp was looking up information on Groundhogs Day and got a virus." Already we thought this was kind of an amusing ticket. What could someone have found while looking up Groundhogs Day that would have infected their computer?

Fast forward to near the end of the day. My co-worker decides to head out and take the HDD out of this teachers computer so that we can scan it for issues back in our office. When he returns he says that the teacher had pulled the power from the computer and the power from the monitor, and that it was like that all day.

She kept saying, in a whispered voice, that she was looking up information about Gobbler's Knob, PA and that "It was on... everything! I mean.. EVERYTHING" Gobbler's Knob for those who don't know, is the location of Punxsutawney Phill, the fat little bugger who predicts if winter is ending early.

Our first order of business is to try and find the website that she got the virus from. So we fire up our web filter and check her history and see if we can find anything out of the ordinary. What we start to notice is that she is going to search engines like google and bing and searching for "Gobbler's Konb Webcam" We are already rolling on the floor laughing at the idea of a place called Gobbler's Knob, so this just puts the icing on the cake. So we decide to give it a try. We'll, to our supprise we discover that we have a policy enabled that prevents us from turning off Safe Search on Bing (which we now realize must not be applied to the teachers), and we find nothing on Google (likely because of our web filter). The day is starting to end, and we have no more time to look in to the issue.

Fast forward to about 5 min ago. I'm at home and I do a google search for "Gobbler's Knob Webcam" and clicked "images". What I found is something you SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT WHILE AT WORK. Thats for damn sure! I can't stop laughing at the way the image search goes from photos of a Ground Hog to photos of chicks sucking hog.

Then I go to Bing. I do the same thing. Its nothing but filthy knob gobblers! I'm laughing my ass off just thinking of the idea that we're going to have to explain why porn is showing up in the image results when a user is looking for "Gobbler's Knob, pa".

EDIT: I've discovered that leaving out the ' will make a HUGE difference in the amount of porn you find. This just keeps getting better.

brb google

[theholycow]

"chicks sucking hog"

LOL hog again.

[Cez★]

dat hog

[Barrrf]

Originally Posted by theholycow

"chicks sucking hog"

LOL hog again.

More GMFS spillover.

Gobblers Knob. I hope my IT doesnt decide to look into my history.

[theholycow]

Not tldr damnit:

[Barrrf]

ahh tru

[stonehenge]

tl;dr



---------- Post added at 03:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 PM ----------

I'm not sure why I got so angry, but this guy pushed all my buttons...

This morning, I'm running late, heading out the door, and the phone rings, it's an older guy.

HIM: Where are you located?

ME: Sir, I generally don't accept drop offs, I'm onsite only. I come to you.

H: Where are you located? Is it the address in the phone book?

M: Again, I'm onsite only, and serve the X region..here's how I work (explain the service call charge, diags and estimate, and that gets applied toward the repair cost)

H: Well, I just need to know where you're located. (BUTTON #1: You're not fucking listening to me.)

M: Do you have a computer that needs repaired?

H: (Literally 10 minute explanation of his problem) TL;DR: His desktop clock would reset on every reboot (dead CMOS battery, a 2 minute job). He decided to take it upon himself to randomly start deleting things in Device Manager. When that didn't work, he then started fucking around with the BIOS settings, and now nothing works right.

M: Wow, Ok, so you'd like to make an appointment?

H: I was hoping you could tell me what to do next (BUTTON #2: assholes wanting free tech support when they've never been a client of mine).

M: Nope, not at this point, unfortunately, I'm going to have to take a look at it after all you've done to it. (I repeat my service call charge, etc.) Would you like to make an appointment? I can get you in today.

H: Well, all you're going to need is a disk to fix it, do you have that disk? (Button #3: You're a moron, and trying to tell me how to fix something after YOU FUBARED it).

M: I assume you mean a system disk, but I doubt that's going to fix the problem, based on what you've told me.

H: All I'm asking you is if you have the disk to fix it...Do you understand English? (That's it, it's over)

M: I understand English perfectly, and you turned what was likely a $50 job into God knows what...If you can find someone with a magical disk to fix it, you're more than welcome to call around, but I certainly won't take your business, because not only are you a moron who doesn't listen to people, you're rude as well. Good luck. click

[shootermcgavin003]

womenz

---------- Post added at 10:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Juan!

tl;dr



---------- Post added at 03:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:09 PM ----------

real life fix my shit

[stonehenge]

From the "What is something slightly evil that you take pleasure in?" thread on Reddit:

I was bored one day, so I posted an ad in Craigslist "Lost/Found" section, claiming that I had found a significant wad of cash behind a seat in a Dunkin Donuts, and if you could describe it, we could meet up and you could have it.

Four days go by with no bites. Finally on the fifth day, a complete scumbag e-mails claiming it's his. After a few emails back-and-forth with him, "confirming" that he was the owner (Guy: "It was about $500" Me: "Yep! Sounds like you are the rightful owner."), we decide to meet.

I tell him to meet me in the most awkward, out-of-the-way corner on a busy thoroughfare, at 8AM on a Sunday. It was cold as shit, and there was freezing rain.

I made him wait..and wait.. and wait.. All the while, e-mailing him (he was on a smartphone) these bunk excuses. Meanwhile, I was sitting in my cozy bedroom, 100 feet away on the other side of the road, watching this douche from my binoculars. Seeing how patient he would be for a supposed $500.

Me: "yo man i'll be right there, just had to stop by micky deez"

Guy: "OK, I'm here waiting. Thanks so much for returning the money"

(10 minutes later)

Guy: "where are you? can you see me? I'm on the corner"

Me: "lol sorry my bad. they got shamrock shakes!! want one?"

(Guy getting visibly upset)

Guy: yeah sure

(5 minutes later)

Me: cool what size

Guy: anything is fine, whatever, small.

(5 minutes later)

Me: sorry they out of smalls, is medium ok

Guy: FINE just come soon please (now I can see him seething mad)

Basically, I tried to see how long I could keep this asshole waiting and salivating. It went on for about 30 minutes, including a brief trip to Target "yo man i'll be right there, just stoppin by Target".

I finally told him that I was in the car across the way, waiting at the light, and that I could see him. That's when I asked, "one last question bro, could you tell me what color the envelope was"

He flew into a rage and stormed off, back to the train into the city, 30 minutes away. His last e-mail to me was something along the lines of, "YOU PUNK ASS MOTHERFUCKER YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG CONMAN YOU FUCKING SHIT" and finally, "I'LL FIND YOU I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE EMAILING FROM, THANKS TO IPHONES"

tl;dr: Made a fake Craigslist ad saying I found $500 cash and got a reply. Made some dishonest chump travel 30 minutes, wait in the rain and cold for a half hour, while I messed with him over e-mail. Meanwhile I watched him from across the street in my cozy bed, lulzing.

[Cez★]

[stonehenge]

you can just read the update in the main text up top and then read the first tree of comments, they made me jest

http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/com...re_the_fk_are/

[theholycow]

They're all up in arms about a common political lie, but they've already forgotten the lawsuit he brought against Google?

[Cez★]

americans must be way more abundant in ignorant numbers than i thought for him to be so popular

[Barrrf]

RAWR-------funny shit. "I got euthanized twice last week"

[stonehenge]

I work help desk for a 200+ person call center, and am the only help desk analyst in the company, so I get my fair share of stupid questions. (And now that I know this subreddit exists, I'll be sharing them here, of course.)

This one happened the other day. I have a group policy set so when a particular user logs into windows and they are in a certain group, they'll get certain icons on their desktop. One of which, is an icon for www.westernunion.com.

Coworker: "Khronanwork, I need to get to westernunion.com and the icon is missing from my desktop... do you know the website name?"

Me: Um........ www.westernunion.com

Coworker: Oh okay! Thanks!

she hangs up, only to call me back a minute later

Coworker: That didn't work.

Me: groan Okay, let me remote into your computer. Whats your computers name? It is written in sharpie on the top of your PC.

Coworker: Lemme check! puts down phone I don't know, its not on either one of them.

Me: Either one of them? You only have one computer.

Coworker: No, I have two computers!

then it dawns on me, she is one of the people in the office with two monitors

Me: No, those are your monitors. The computer is the tower where everything plugs into

Coworker: The what? I don't know what you mean."

Me: The black tower thing that says "Dell" on it, and has a bunch of wires coming out of the back...

Coworker: Oh, that thing. It says PCNAMEHERE on the top of it.

I remote into her computer. What do I see right smack dab in the middle of her desktop? the icon for www.westernunion.com

Me: Um. The icon is on your desktop. Just click it.

Coworker: Oh wow, you fixed it! Thanks so much, I owe you lunch!"

/facepalm

TLR Coworkers are fucking stupid.

and from the comments:

-But... which computer should I use?
---gotta make my mind up... which pc can I taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!
-----WIN-DOWS! WIN-DOWS!
-----Gotta boot into Windows!
-------Everyone's looking forward to the blue screens, blue screens.

[theholycow]

That's my life every fucking day and I'm not even the person they're supposed to call first.

[Big Red]

[theholycow]

[stonehenge]

This is by far the worst thing that has happened to me working in IT/Tech Support over the years.

When I was in college I was the head lab assistant for the school. The computer labs were pretty large and there were classrooms off of the main lab. Normally the classrooms were locked at night and we would leave one of the smallest labs open if there were a bunch of people in the lab. Well it was right around midterms and the students who worked the last shift that night had left one of the smaller labs open so people could use the computers.

The next morning I walk in after my classes are done to start work and my Boss, the Sys Admin for the school and the CIO are all in my boss's office and when they see me they call me in. I immediately think something is up because they never meet unless it's a big issue. When I get in there they tell me there is a situation in the smallest lab that got left open the night before. I ask what the problem is and they tell me they'll show me.

We all walk in the lab and close the door and they point out a computer. I go to walk over to the computer and it's a milky white substance and there is porn on the screen. Yea, someone had shot their load all over the monitor, keyboard, mouse and lab table. I proceeded to ask my boss what we were going to do about it, completely weirded out that someone did that.

My boss said that the cleaners will not clean it so we would have to do it ourselves. So my boss and I borrow some heavy duty gloves and cleaning supplies and throw out the monitor, keyboard, mouse and clean the table. It was so gross. Before we cleaned it though my boss checked to see who was logged in and we found who the student was.

Security finds the student (a female) and they ask her who she let use her login and she said it was her boyfriend. Needless to say the kid had to pay for the equipment we had to get rid of (Who would ever use it again?) and he got 40+ hrs of community service around campus. To this day it's the worst thing I've ever had to deal with in IT.

[theholycow]

If she had been a dude who he's friends with rather than a chick, guess who would have had to pay...

Why the fuck do people let others use their accounts?

[stonehenge]

cuz

[stonehenge]

yakpot: http://www.callhating.com/

[theholycow]

IT yackpot: http://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport

[stonehenge]

yeah im subscribed to that subreddit. Some of the ones I posted in here were from there lol