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12-09-2009, 04:55 PM | #1 |
Sneakers O'Toole
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Smiley Stories
CIA guy is transporting a breefkase wif the help of 4 security guards (2 BAMF & 2 Regular) to a courthouse in NYC
As they cross the Lincoln bridge a Pirate guy comes out of nowhere and kills a Reg security Now they are down to 2 BAMF & 1 Reg The entorage gets hungry so they stop for nomz at a diner A Reg security guy spots 2 shooters outside in the parking lot As the shooters get close 1 BAMF & 1 Reg pull out their weapons and try and protect The other BAMF decides he doesn't want to kill anyone and hides behind a booth Turns out he wasn't really a BAMF, just a Reg in sunglasses After the BAMF & the Reg kill the gunmen they beat the hell out of the other security guard The BAMF and Reg continue to escort the CIA guy When they get to the courtroom an angry homeless guy starts rambling about something The entourage doesn't pay it any attention until the HG rips off his trenchcoat and surprise The Reg security is tired of the BS so he just gives the guy a swift kick The entorage finally make it into the courtroom Secret guy hands the judge the breefkase The judge opens it and finds a DVD, he tells the baliff to play it and its a..... pr0n Last edited by BillyJeanKing; 03-30-2011 at 04:43 PM. |
12-09-2009, 05:01 PM | #2 |
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12-09-2009, 09:06 PM | #3 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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nice
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12-09-2009, 09:30 PM | #4 |
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[buff gai be hangin out and coo gai walks in]
"i'm so pimp its ridiculous" "Gimme dem shades foo." "but i just bought... "GIMME DA FUCKIN SHADES" "ok ok sorry..." [gives shades] "Thats right foo, WALK AWAY" "Ya thats right bitch"
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12-09-2009, 09:32 PM | #5 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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12-09-2009, 11:10 PM | #6 |
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12-10-2009, 07:24 PM | #7 |
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"Damn I hazn't got none in fo-evah"
[brah drives to bad part of town] :o "10 in the front, 20 in the back sugah" END
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12-10-2009, 07:25 PM | #8 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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me><dooshcrocodile
END
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12-10-2009, 07:50 PM | #9 |
Gnex Owner
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this one time, in gmfs, chad called juan a retard
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12-10-2009, 09:31 PM | #10 |
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thats like calling a fgt. it just don't make senses
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12-12-2009, 05:12 AM | #11 |
In It To Win It...
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Nice.
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12-18-2009, 03:29 PM | #12 |
Sneakers O'Toole
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Some stuff happened on GMFS and now
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01-20-2010, 05:23 PM | #13 | ||
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Quote:
Quote:
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01-20-2010, 05:44 PM | #14 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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01-20-2010, 05:59 PM | #15 |
Sneakers O'Toole
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that looks cool cez
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01-20-2010, 06:02 PM | #16 |
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it's like a roflwave
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01-20-2010, 06:07 PM | #17 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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01-28-2010, 03:53 PM | #18 |
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Not quite the same format, but here's how the last ~12 hours of my life has gone...
Went to bed, ignored Nip/Tuck with my earplugs. Nice. :ahhh: Then :ahhh: Then sleep. :ahhh: Wake up late. Usually, even if I went to bed late, I wake up early and lay in bed awake but still resting. Today I was totally unconscious until the secondary extra-loud wake-up alarm broke through the earplugs. Have none of my usual urgent need to dump. I give up and tell wife she might as well take her shower. Hope I don't have to dump while she's in the shower. Dump is ready. I walk up to the bathroom door to yell that I need her to finish up. I hear that the shower isn't running. It's not long before she gets out. I dump but I don't feel done. I finish my morning stuff and leave for work. She needs to stop at a convenience store. As I back out of my space, a SUV bitch is driving along the parking lot. She hasn't left much room between her and the row of parked cars. I can squeeze through but it'll be tight. She backs up but doesn't steer any differently, so there's still only the narrow space. Whatever. I squeeze through, no problem, IGAF if it's tight and scares her. She's all like I finish driving to work and see a better parking space than I usually get. :ahhh: I get in the space before anyone else gets there. I get into work and remember the shit I left unfinished last night. My boss tells me that some student was all about the internet connection at 11pm last night. What the fuck, this isn't MIT, we don't have the center of the fucking internet and 1 billion gigabit connections going out to all the backbones. This is a small Catholic college out in the middle of the forest with almost no technology curriculum. I'd love to convince the president that we need a bunch of gigabit backbone connections but it ain't gonna happen. I start looking at firewall logs to see what the fuck is going on and there was a DDOS last night. Looking more, the new Sophos antivirus server I installed on our DC seems to have been getting blocked by the firewall too, it can't download updates because the virus signatures are detected as viruses. That shit should be encrypted. Or maybe the DC has a virus. In the meantime, a bunch of other shit is all
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01-28-2010, 04:33 PM | #19 |
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I ed
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01-28-2010, 04:37 PM | #20 |
Sneakers O'Toole
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yay! revival of smiley story thread
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01-28-2010, 08:04 PM | #21 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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this be me everyday driving to school on fucked up roads
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01-28-2010, 08:05 PM | #22 |
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thats what you get for low
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01-28-2010, 08:06 PM | #23 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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ya but teh looks be
:ahhh: but when douchenozzles be right behind me i be
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05-22-2010, 07:44 PM | #24 |
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Smiley/text stories
I've been posting these in teh chat thread but hey...might as well give them their own thread. Not quite "smiley stories" since text is required...
Today I went to mow the lawn. I decided to try putting some thicker oil in the ol' Craftsman mower to quiet the rod knock. I went to where I thought I had put the old differential oil out of my truck and the bottles were empty. I opened an unidentified oil bottle next to that which I figured must be where it is. It doesn't look or smell like 80w90 gear oil. I can't find the drain cock (uh huhuhuhuhh he said cock) on the mower so I RTFM (luckily I had downloaded it before). It says you just tip the mower on its side and let the oil drain out of the oil fill hole. Ok, whatever dude. I drain the oil, put in the stuff that may or may not be used 80w90 gear oil, pour the lawnmower's old oil into a bottle, go to start the mower. Pull, fire, stall. Pull, fire, stall. Ok, maybe I'll try the old MTD mower that I keep thinking one day I'll fix. Pull, fire, stall. I take the air filter housing off and spray starting fluid in. It runs as long as I spray starting fluid and stalls when I quit. I give up on the MTD. I resume working on the Crapsman. I start it and immediately start pumping the priming bulb like I'm giving it CPR. It runs as long as I keep pumping. I quit pumping and it still runs. I think it's good. :ahhh: I'm wrong. It stalls. I give the primer a few pumps and start the engine, then immediately fiddle with the throttle/governor linkage. RPM goes up and I fear for my life, worried that parts will come whizzing out at 800mph. After revving it up too high a few times and holding it a little higher than normal for a minute or two I let go and it runs without stalling. I mow the lawn, come in and post this, and pop a beer and/or maybe some tequila. :ahhh:
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05-22-2010, 09:09 PM | #25 | |
C-E-Z★ bitch
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you haz repost
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