[theholycow]

(Restaurant | Liverpool, UK)

(When a customer orders water at our restaurant, it shows up on their receipts as H2O.)

Customer: *loudly* “I think you’ve given me the wrong bill. You’ve charged me for H2O. I only had water!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I want a refund. I’m not paying for something that I didn’t even have!”

(She carries on ranting for a couple of minutes until her friend points out to her in a surprisingly calm way that H2O is water.)

Customer: “Oh, is it?! I thought that was juice!” *slinks out looking embarrassed*

(Farm | Langley, BC, Canada)

(I work on a berry farm and we have U-pick on the farm. While working in U-pick, I come across a woman and her son walking in the small wooded area beside one of the strawberry fields.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice you walking through the trees here. Are you looking for someone?”

Customer: “Oh, hi. Um, no…we aren’t looking for anyone.”

(She continues to walk away from me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to come back to the strawberry field now. This wooded area is actually not on farm property.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. We’ll be quick. My son just needs to poop.”

Me: “Oh! Actually, we ask that you don’t do that here. We have restrooms back at the main building.”

(I point to the building, which is about 20 yards away.)

Customer: *sighs* “Well, alright, but that’s a pretty long way to walk…”

(Tourist Attraction | Harpers Ferry, WV, USA)

(We are whitewater rafting in West Virginia. While floating between rapids, a girl in her mid-20s from a large city in Virginia, randomly starts asking me questions.)

Customer: “Man! There are a lot of trees here. Why are there so many trees? Can’t you take some of them out?”

Me: “Um, okay. Why do we need to take the trees out?”

Customer: “Well, I thought trees had to be at least 20 feet apart!”

(It’s obvious she’s a city girl, so I decide to have a little fun.)

Me: “Oh, well let me explain. You see, over in Virginia, they plowed down the forest, built your parking lot, and then planted a couple trees to try and make it look pretty. Here in West Virginia, the trees naturally grew this way and we decided to leave them because we like oxygen.”

Customer: “Oh…well, trees are ugly.”

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