[stonehenge]

It's a dark morning and I'm trying to keep my eyes open in the dim light of the monitors. Suddenly my slumber is disturbed the dreaded Nokia tune... Titidiii diiii tititidiiii diiii diiiiii! Sigh I pick up the phone and answer:

Me: This is TECHCOMPANY HELPDESK Macmula how can I help you.

Customer: Yes, hello the mail is not working.

Me: Okay could you please tell me what company you work for? (Our helpdesk handles multiple customers)

Customer: What do you mean? Can't you see my phone number?

Tear of hatred slides at my cheek

Me: Mam, I'm sorry but I cant really tell that from your phonenumber. I need to know which company you are from to know which server I need to log into.

Customer: Sigh it's always like this with you guys... Okay, I'm from SOMECOMPANY.

Me: Okay thank you very much. Let me check if your exchange server is running ok.

*I then proceed to check if services are running, send a couple of test emails (all ok). I also log into the exchange management console and check the mail queue, all ok of course...

Me: Okay i just checked the mail server and everything seems to be ok. Could you please elaborate what exactly you are doing when you send the email?

Customer: Write the message and attach the file and then click send. Im not doing anything wrong! Please check the server again!

Me: Mam... What kind of a file are you trying to send?

Customer: just a small video file!

Ruhroh.wav

Me: Okay, just bear with me for a moment. How big is the file?

Customer: Windows says it's only one kilobyte!

Me: Okay... What does it say in outlook next to the file name when you attach the file to the mail?

Customer: uuuh...... 1048576KB, what does that mean?

Wat

Me: Mam the file you are sending is not 1 kilobyte... it's one gigabyte. You can't send files this big through email. What are you trying to send?

Customer: The new Marvel movie to my friend. Why do you need to know?

I then proceeded to facedesk and briefly give this woman a lecture of internet piracy, email size and why not to try to do this with the company email....

tl;dr: customer tries to run do some warez with company email...

lulz