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Old 11-27-2011, 12:44 AM   #150
theholycow
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theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.theholycow says if you haz iPhone problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my Droid aint one.
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Quote:
(Call center | UK)

Me: “Good morning! You’re through to [name]. Can I take your plan number, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have a plan number. What’s that?”

Me: “It’s on your statement and begins with the number ’14′, then a dash.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and there isn’t one.”

Me: “It’s about half way down on the right hand side and begins with ’14′ dash.”

Customer: “There isn’t one. I can see where it says plan type, but that’s it.”

Me: “Okay, it says the plan type on the left. The plan number is just to the right of it, starting with ’14′ and a dash.”

Customer: “There isn’t one. There is no number beginning with ’14′. Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “No, I’m not calling you a liar, but if it is a statement you are looking at, then I promise it’s on the right side, half way down. It starts with ’14′.”

Customer: “There bloody well isn’t! The only number on here starts ’1′, ’4′, and a dash. Can’t you take that?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take that instead!”
Quote:
(Coffee Shop | Peterborough, ON, Canada)

(I work in a coffee shop that is now advertising using real cheese instead of processed cheese.)

Customer: “Can I get a chocolate chip muffin please?”

Me: “Sure, that will be [price].”

Customer: “And can I get that without cheese?”

Me: *confused* “We actually don’t put cheese on our muffins.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I saw on the commercial that everything now has real cheese on it, so I really don’t want that.”

Me: “Well, we only put cheese on things like sandwiches. You won’t have cheese on much else. We have just changed to using real cheese instead of processed, so that’s what we’re advertising.”

Customer: “Well, that’s a relief!”
Quote:
(Call center | USA)

(I work for a utilities company in collections, meaning I get people who are being shut off, or have been shut off. Our policy is to send several notices, and then shut off an account if no satisfactory arrangements are made. Where we give them a date, we can shut off the account with no one there, provided the meter is outside.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [utility company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m holding a shut off notice here dated for November 10th. When will my services be shut off for non-payment?”

Me: “As of November 10th, it is subject to termination.”

Customer: “Oh. Do I have to be there? I’m going on vacation.”

Me: “No, you don’t need to be there.”

Customer: “Oh. Can I get a hold on the account? I don’t have any money.”

Me: “Well, is there a medical condition pertaining to the services?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “How about an infant or an elderly person?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, how about a financial hardship?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, are you unemployed, or was there a loss of income?”

Customer: “Oh, no, nothing like that! I spent all my money on my vacation!”
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