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BillyJeanKing 12-09-2009 04:55 PM

Smiley Stories
 
CIA guy is transporting a breefkase wif the help of 4 security guards (2 BAMF & 2 Regular) to a courthouse in NYC

:security: :crossarms: :secret: :crossarms: :security:



As they cross the Lincoln bridge a Pirate guy comes out of nowhere and kills a Reg security

:pirate:



Now they are down to 2 BAMF & 1 Reg

:security: :crossarms: :secret: :security:



The entorage gets hungry so they stop for nomz at a diner

:roflhouse: :feedme:

A Reg security guy spots 2 shooters outside in the parking lot

:guns: :shooter:


As the shooters get close 1 BAMF & 1 Reg pull out their weapons and try and protect :secret:

The other BAMF decides he doesn't want to kill anyone and hides behind a booth

:sofa:

Turns out he wasn't really a BAMF, just a Reg in sunglasses :facepalm:

After the BAMF & the Reg kill the gunmen they beat the hell out of the other security guard

:boxing:

The BAMF and Reg continue to escort the CIA guy

:security: :secret: :crossarms:


When they get to the courtroom an angry homeless guy starts rambling about something

:pissed:


The entourage doesn't pay it any attention until the HG rips off his trenchcoat and surprise

:ninja:

The Reg security is tired of the BS so he just gives the guy a swift kick


:nutkick:

:owned2:

The entorage finally make it into the courtroom

:cheers:

Secret guy hands the judge the breefkase

:secret: :handshake:

The judge opens it and finds a DVD, he tells the baliff to play it and its a.....

:eatAtY: :humping:











pr0n

theholycow 12-09-2009 05:01 PM

:roflsquared:

Cez★ 12-09-2009 09:06 PM

:rofl: nice

stonehenge 12-09-2009 09:30 PM

[buff gai be hangin out and coo gai walks in]

:cool: "i'm so pimp its ridiculous"

:crossarms: "Gimme dem shades foo."

:cool: "but i just bought...

:crossarms: "GIMME DA FUCKIN SHADES" :pissedfist:

:rolleyes: "ok ok sorry..."

[gives shades]

:security: "Thats right foo, WALK AWAY"

:(

:security: "Ya thats right bitch"

Cez★ 12-09-2009 09:32 PM

:roflbow:

theholycow 12-09-2009 11:10 PM

:lol:

stonehenge 12-10-2009 07:24 PM

:headpalm: "Damn I hazn't got none in fo-evah"
[brah drives to bad part of town]
:o "10 in the front, 20 in the back sugah"
:humping:

END

Cez★ 12-10-2009 07:25 PM

me>:slap:<dooshcrocodile


END

2005_Silverado 12-10-2009 07:50 PM

this one time, in gmfs, chad called juan a retard

:blah:

stonehenge 12-10-2009 09:31 PM

:word: thats like :supergay: calling :security: a fgt. it just don't make senses

Shaggy 12-12-2009 05:12 AM

:lol: Nice.

BillyJeanKing 12-18-2009 03:29 PM

Some :naughty: stuff happened on GMFS and now :aot:

:rofl:

stonehenge 01-20-2010 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cez
hey brahzz can you add this smilie? kthxbi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wan!
hellllll ya brah hold on

alright lemme just add this smilie...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4058/...beba2e5d_o.png

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/...7623b9e4_o.png

:ffuuu:

Cez★ 01-20-2010 05:44 PM

:roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow:

BillyJeanKing 01-20-2010 05:59 PM

that looks cool cez :D

stonehenge 01-20-2010 06:02 PM

it's like a roflwave

Cez★ 01-20-2010 06:07 PM

:shake:

theholycow 01-28-2010 03:53 PM

Not quite the same format, but here's how the last ~12 hours of my life has gone...

Went to bed, ignored Nip/Tuck with my earplugs. Nice.
:ahhh:

Then :humping:
:ahhh:

Then sleep.
:ahhh:

Wake up late. Usually, even if I went to bed late, I wake up early and lay in bed awake but still resting. Today I was totally unconscious until the secondary extra-loud wake-up alarm broke through the earplugs.
:ffuuu:

Have none of my usual urgent need to dump. I give up and tell wife she might as well take her shower. :uhoh: Hope I don't have to dump while she's in the shower.

Dump is ready.
:ffuuu:

I walk up to the bathroom door to yell that I need her to finish up. I hear that the shower isn't running. It's not long before she gets out.
:better:

I dump but I don't feel done. :100courics:

I finish my morning stuff and leave for work. She needs to stop at a convenience store. :doh2:

As I back out of my space, a SUV bitch is driving along the parking lot. She hasn't left much room between her and the row of parked cars. I can squeeze through but it'll be tight. She backs up but doesn't steer any differently, so there's still only the narrow space. :wtf2:

Whatever. I squeeze through, no problem, IGAF if it's tight and scares her. She's all like :chuy:

I finish driving to work and see a better parking space than I usually get.
:ahhh:

I get in the space before anyone else gets there.
:better:

I get into work and remember the shit I left unfinished last night.
:ffuuu:

My boss tells me that some student was all :pissedfist: about the internet connection at 11pm last night. What the fuck, this isn't MIT, we don't have the center of the fucking internet and 1 billion gigabit connections going out to all the backbones. This is a small Catholic college out in the middle of the forest with almost no technology curriculum. I'd love to convince the president that we need a bunch of gigabit backbone connections but it ain't gonna happen. :sumo:

I start looking at firewall logs to see what the fuck is going on and there was a DDOS last night. :eek2:

Looking more, the new Sophos antivirus server I installed on our DC seems to have been getting blocked by the firewall too, it can't download updates because the virus signatures are detected as viruses. :nono: That shit should be encrypted.

Or maybe the DC has a virus. :uhoh:

In the meantime, a bunch of other shit is all :gay:

stonehenge 01-28-2010 04:33 PM

I :jester:ed

BillyJeanKing 01-28-2010 04:37 PM

yay! revival of smiley story thread :pepperjest:

Cez★ 01-28-2010 08:04 PM

this be me everyday driving to school on fucked up roads
:ffuuu:

stonehenge 01-28-2010 08:05 PM

thats what you get for low

Cez★ 01-28-2010 08:06 PM

ya but teh looks be
:ahhh:

but when douchenozzles be right behind me i be
:ffuuu:

theholycow 05-22-2010 07:44 PM

Smiley/text stories
 
I've been posting these in teh chat thread but hey...might as well give them their own thread. Not quite "smiley stories" since text is required...

Today I went to mow the lawn. I decided to try putting some thicker oil in the ol' Craftsman mower to quiet the rod knock. I went to where I thought I had put the old differential oil out of my truck and the bottles were empty.
:ffuuu:

I opened an unidentified oil bottle next to that which I figured must be where it is. It doesn't look or smell like 80w90 gear oil.
:fiwdil:

I can't find the drain cock (uh huhuhuhuhh he said cock) on the mower so I RTFM (luckily I had downloaded it before). It says you just tip the mower on its side and let the oil drain out of the oil fill hole. :shrug: Ok, whatever dude.

I drain the oil, put in the stuff that may or may not be used 80w90 gear oil, pour the lawnmower's old oil into a bottle, go to start the mower. Pull, fire, stall. Pull, fire, stall.
:ffuuu:

Ok, maybe I'll try the old MTD mower that I keep thinking one day I'll fix. Pull, fire, stall.
:ffuuu:

I take the air filter housing off and spray starting fluid in. It runs as long as I spray starting fluid and stalls when I quit.
:ffuuu:

I give up on the MTD.
:fuckinthingsucks:

I resume working on the Crapsman. I start it and immediately start pumping the priming bulb like I'm giving it CPR.
:concentrate:
It runs as long as I keep pumping. I quit pumping and it still runs.
:happeh:
I think it's good.
:ahhh:
I'm wrong. It stalls.
:ffuuu:

I give the primer a few pumps and start the engine, then immediately fiddle with the throttle/governor linkage. RPM goes up and I fear for my life, worried that parts will come whizzing out at 800mph.
http://www.camaro5.com/forums/images/smilies/yikes.gif

After revving it up too high a few times and holding it a little higher than normal for a minute or two I let go and it runs without stalling.
:grd:
:fuckyeah:

I mow the lawn, come in and post this, and pop a beer and/or maybe some tequila.
:lootie:
:ahhh:

Cez★ 05-22-2010 09:09 PM

you haz repost


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