Smiley Stories
CIA guy is transporting a breefkase wif the help of 4 security guards (2 BAMF & 2 Regular) to a courthouse in NYC
:security: :crossarms: :secret: :crossarms: :security: As they cross the Lincoln bridge a Pirate guy comes out of nowhere and kills a Reg security :pirate: Now they are down to 2 BAMF & 1 Reg :security: :crossarms: :secret: :security: The entorage gets hungry so they stop for nomz at a diner :roflhouse: :feedme: A Reg security guy spots 2 shooters outside in the parking lot :guns: :shooter: As the shooters get close 1 BAMF & 1 Reg pull out their weapons and try and protect :secret: The other BAMF decides he doesn't want to kill anyone and hides behind a booth :sofa: Turns out he wasn't really a BAMF, just a Reg in sunglasses :facepalm: After the BAMF & the Reg kill the gunmen they beat the hell out of the other security guard :boxing: The BAMF and Reg continue to escort the CIA guy :security: :secret: :crossarms: When they get to the courtroom an angry homeless guy starts rambling about something :pissed: The entourage doesn't pay it any attention until the HG rips off his trenchcoat and surprise :ninja: The Reg security is tired of the BS so he just gives the guy a swift kick :nutkick: :owned2: The entorage finally make it into the courtroom :cheers: Secret guy hands the judge the breefkase :secret: :handshake: The judge opens it and finds a DVD, he tells the baliff to play it and its a..... :eatAtY: :humping: pr0n |
:roflsquared:
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:rofl: nice
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[buff gai be hangin out and coo gai walks in]
:cool: "i'm so pimp its ridiculous" :crossarms: "Gimme dem shades foo." :cool: "but i just bought... :crossarms: "GIMME DA FUCKIN SHADES" :pissedfist: :rolleyes: "ok ok sorry..." [gives shades] :security: "Thats right foo, WALK AWAY" :( :security: "Ya thats right bitch" |
:roflbow:
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:lol:
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:headpalm: "Damn I hazn't got none in fo-evah"
[brah drives to bad part of town] :o "10 in the front, 20 in the back sugah" :humping: END |
me>:slap:<dooshcrocodile
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this one time, in gmfs, chad called juan a retard
:blah: |
:word: thats like :supergay: calling :security: a fgt. it just don't make senses
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:lol: Nice.
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Some :naughty: stuff happened on GMFS and now :aot:
:rofl: |
Quote:
Quote:
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4058/...beba2e5d_o.png http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/...7623b9e4_o.png :ffuuu: |
:roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow: :roflsquared: :roflbow:
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that looks cool cez :D
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it's like a roflwave
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:shake:
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Not quite the same format, but here's how the last ~12 hours of my life has gone...
Went to bed, ignored Nip/Tuck with my earplugs. Nice. :ahhh: Then :humping: :ahhh: Then sleep. :ahhh: Wake up late. Usually, even if I went to bed late, I wake up early and lay in bed awake but still resting. Today I was totally unconscious until the secondary extra-loud wake-up alarm broke through the earplugs. :ffuuu: Have none of my usual urgent need to dump. I give up and tell wife she might as well take her shower. :uhoh: Hope I don't have to dump while she's in the shower. Dump is ready. :ffuuu: I walk up to the bathroom door to yell that I need her to finish up. I hear that the shower isn't running. It's not long before she gets out. :better: I dump but I don't feel done. :100courics: I finish my morning stuff and leave for work. She needs to stop at a convenience store. :doh2: As I back out of my space, a SUV bitch is driving along the parking lot. She hasn't left much room between her and the row of parked cars. I can squeeze through but it'll be tight. She backs up but doesn't steer any differently, so there's still only the narrow space. :wtf2: Whatever. I squeeze through, no problem, IGAF if it's tight and scares her. She's all like :chuy: I finish driving to work and see a better parking space than I usually get. :ahhh: I get in the space before anyone else gets there. :better: I get into work and remember the shit I left unfinished last night. :ffuuu: My boss tells me that some student was all :pissedfist: about the internet connection at 11pm last night. What the fuck, this isn't MIT, we don't have the center of the fucking internet and 1 billion gigabit connections going out to all the backbones. This is a small Catholic college out in the middle of the forest with almost no technology curriculum. I'd love to convince the president that we need a bunch of gigabit backbone connections but it ain't gonna happen. :sumo: I start looking at firewall logs to see what the fuck is going on and there was a DDOS last night. :eek2: Looking more, the new Sophos antivirus server I installed on our DC seems to have been getting blocked by the firewall too, it can't download updates because the virus signatures are detected as viruses. :nono: That shit should be encrypted. Or maybe the DC has a virus. :uhoh: In the meantime, a bunch of other shit is all :gay: |
I :jester:ed
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yay! revival of smiley story thread :pepperjest:
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this be me everyday driving to school on fucked up roads
:ffuuu: |
thats what you get for low
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ya but teh looks be
:ahhh: but when douchenozzles be right behind me i be :ffuuu: |
Smiley/text stories
I've been posting these in teh chat thread but hey...might as well give them their own thread. Not quite "smiley stories" since text is required...
Today I went to mow the lawn. I decided to try putting some thicker oil in the ol' Craftsman mower to quiet the rod knock. I went to where I thought I had put the old differential oil out of my truck and the bottles were empty. :ffuuu: I opened an unidentified oil bottle next to that which I figured must be where it is. It doesn't look or smell like 80w90 gear oil. :fiwdil: I can't find the drain cock (uh huhuhuhuhh he said cock) on the mower so I RTFM (luckily I had downloaded it before). It says you just tip the mower on its side and let the oil drain out of the oil fill hole. :shrug: Ok, whatever dude. I drain the oil, put in the stuff that may or may not be used 80w90 gear oil, pour the lawnmower's old oil into a bottle, go to start the mower. Pull, fire, stall. Pull, fire, stall. :ffuuu: Ok, maybe I'll try the old MTD mower that I keep thinking one day I'll fix. Pull, fire, stall. :ffuuu: I take the air filter housing off and spray starting fluid in. It runs as long as I spray starting fluid and stalls when I quit. :ffuuu: I give up on the MTD. :fuckinthingsucks: I resume working on the Crapsman. I start it and immediately start pumping the priming bulb like I'm giving it CPR. :concentrate: It runs as long as I keep pumping. I quit pumping and it still runs. :happeh: I think it's good. :ahhh: I'm wrong. It stalls. :ffuuu: I give the primer a few pumps and start the engine, then immediately fiddle with the throttle/governor linkage. RPM goes up and I fear for my life, worried that parts will come whizzing out at 800mph. http://www.camaro5.com/forums/images/smilies/yikes.gif After revving it up too high a few times and holding it a little higher than normal for a minute or two I let go and it runs without stalling. :grd: :fuckyeah: I mow the lawn, come in and post this, and pop a beer and/or maybe some tequila. :lootie: :ahhh: |
you haz repost
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